Bush Defends Tenth Planet Claims

Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Associated DePressed

WASHINGTON - Presidential spokesman Scott McClellan vigorously denied suggestions that the Administration intentionally misled the country with claims that a newly discovered object at the edge of the solar system was significantly larger than Pluto and therefore qualifies to be designated as a planet. The object, classified as “2003 UB313”, was discovered on January 8th, 2005 from images taken by the 48-inch Samuel Oschin Telescope at the Palomar Observatory.

Critics have accused the Administration of exaggerating or manipulating scientific data to claim that UB313 was about 2,175 miles in diameter based on its brightness. Yesterday Bush admitted that the Hubble Space Telescope has determined that the object only measures about 1,490 miles in diameter, while Pluto is about 1,422 miles across. Members of the Bush Administration are especially embarrassed to have gone on record to estimate UB313 at up to 3,107 miles wide.

According to a report released by the Washington Post, the Administration continued to make claims exaggerating the size of UB313 and asserting that it should be classified as a planet, despite warnings that the body lies in the Kuiper belt and should be classified as a Kuiper resident. The Kuiper belt is thickly populated with asteroids, comets, and icy bodies; many of whom are quite large. This information was made available to the Administration in August 2005 by noted British astronomer Brian Marsden, but they are accused of ignoring this important evidence and recklessly continuing its false claims. Marsden also drew parallels to the large asteroid Ceres, which was discovered in 1801. He stated that it was initially designated a planet, until a large number of rocky, asteroid belt objects were found in the same region (much like UB313).

The report makes a particularly disturbing claim that the Administration is misusing scientific data for political purposes. An image of UB313 was first captured in October 2003 during a search for distant bodies in the solar system. For more than a year, the object remained just another data point, but in January of 2005 (as Bush’s popularity began to sag) it was curiously “discovered”. Bush has downplayed accusations that this information was suppressed until he needed a distraction from his low popularity numbers.

These findings have triggered mass demonstrations across the country condemning the Administration.