Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Hunger Strike – Day Five




(If you are not familiar with the events leading up to this hunger strike please click on this link to go to the article, “Hunger Strike – Day One”, before reading this update.)

I’ve been getting a lot of hate mail because of my current hunger strike against the NY Times. Much of it has been very nasty and has threatened my sense of security, but I will not give in. As a member of the Gold Star Hunger Strikers for Truth I want to put you haters on notice that until you initiate your own hunger strike you have no right to try to censor me or criticize my patriotism. I will not be deterred.

My readers will be pleased to know that the pressure from the hunger strike has been building and the NY Times is working overtime to deflect the firestorm of righteous criticism. I have been documenting the newspaper’s dirty tactics that they are using in a feeble attempt to avoid me and deny my freedom of speech.

Over the past two days I have telephoned their office numerous times only to receive the most inhumane abuse imaginable. I have recorded the time of each call and preserved a written transcript of the conversations. Whenever I call they have been playing an elaborate ruse where they answer the phone saying, “Joe’s Plumbing”. Each of the 256 times that I have called they have answered in this manner!!! I believe that they are using caller ID to screen me out. It has been a surprise that the staff at the Times are such foul mouthed brutes and they are much less educated than I thought they would be.

Regardless, the success of the campaign is phenomenal. To press our advantage I will be protesting in front of the favorite charity of the NY Times Executive Editor Howell Raines. Come join me this week in front of the offices of The Society for Lesbian Gazelles and Transgendered Animals. For a small fee I am available to protest in front of the favorite charity of any liberal politician or celebrity of your choice. Please contact me for details.

The NY Times cannot afford to avoid meeting me because there are many questions that they are obligated to answer. Stay tuned for the new website to be commissioned shortly:

www.meetwithfreedomnow.org

4 comments:

nanc said...

don't you dare eat that paper - they may be trying to poison you with soy and ammonia. paper makes for hard passings i've heard. you'd be better off to eat the plate, which reminds me of a story...........

Freedomnow said...

OK whats the story?

You never gave me the story you were going to tell about a leftwingnut from your family archives...

nanc said...

the archives are quite full and my filing has gotten lax, but i have quite a few for you fern.

about the plate - we had a friend in our younger days who played college football and was a big dummy - and not your ordinary, big dummy - extraordinary more like it. well, to make a short story long, whenever we'd be out partying - now i know you probably think nanc doesn't know how, but... - okay, back to the story - this guy would put bar glasses into his enormous mouth and CHEW them up into sand again and spit them out.

another friend who played football at smu would come home on his vacations and we'd all have to sit around with this 300# baby and watch "little mermaid" while he sang the entire score. i'm wondering - are all football players like these?

i've had such a good life and it just keeps gettin' better everyday and i know in my heart i'll be doing my part cause i've got to please my sweet tooth, yeah - keep on blockin' those passes - keep on blockin' those passes...

wow, do you think i have a career in songwriting, you being the songwriter and all?

nanc said...

get up!!! your songwriting talents are needed at madzionist on the tookie williams post. greet the day! i was waking roosters up so they could start crowing at four a.m....just kiddin'...