Letter of Hope

Thanks to my trusty time machine I had the good fortune of retrieving an open letter to the world that will be written by a peace activist in the near future. Please enjoy it…

October 27, 2007

Dear Humankind,

While human history has been a mosaic of violence and injustice there have been many examples of peace loving people prevailing against humanity’s aggressive nature.

It is thanks to the assistance of the peace movement that the democratic country of South Vietnam was successfully invaded by the totalitarian North. It was also the hard work of activists around the world that contributed to the triumph of the popular terrorist organization Hezbollah over the war mongering democracy of Israel. This is hard evidence that peace will triumph as long as we reward the military aggression of the enemies of the United States and Israel. Atrocities and oppression committed by the North Vietnamese, the boat people crisis, Pol Pot’s Cambodian genocide, Hezbollah attacks on northern Israel, terrorism and instability in Lebanon are merely capitalist propaganda.

This letter is being written to preserve the true history of the peace movement. The possibility that a Republican could win the upcoming 2008 Presidential elections endangers the progressive nature of this country. As we all know Republicans are quick to resort to the illegal suppression of its opposition. Therefore I will document the successes of our movement and forever protect our place in history for the benefit of future generations.

The People’s Revolution of 2006 led to the impeachment of war criminal George Bush and brought peace to our great nation. It was the patriotic celebration marking the historic milestone of the 2,247th casualty in Iraq that brought protesters to the streets. This was the major catalyst that helped to propel the events leading up to the impeachment. We were tired of killing and arresting terrorists so we took to the streets in support of the legitimate resistance of occupied Iraq.

After the impeachment, President Kerry was instrumental in implementing our plan for peace in Iraq. We scheduled a time table for our withdrawal and the insurgents responded positively. Within six month's time the bulk of US forces were able to leave Iraq in peace. Touched by the humanity of this gesture, al-Qaeda leader al-Zarqawi came out of hiding in tears. At his trial he expressed his regret at the tremendous loss of life and cursed George Bush for forcing him to resort to such drastic self-defense strategies. Instead of revenge he was treated with kindness. With some minor exceptions most Iraqis saw it in their hearts to forgive al-Zarqawi, but an overzealous judge passed a heavy sentence of 10 years probation and six months of community service. The important lesson was that we turned a bitter enemy into an ally for peace.

This atmosphere of reconciliation allowed us to overturn the unjust conviction of former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. The show trial by the puppeteer, George Bush, was used to legitimize his illegal invasion of Hussein’s Iraqi paradise. Although some Iraqis were slightly disappointed with the reversal, for the most part they understood that a terrible injustice was corrected and wished him well in his exile to Jordan. Let us firmly state that Hussein was a dreadful dictator, but he was also the victim of a terrible crime against his sovereign nation.

The greatest triumph of peace was the surrender of Osama bin Laden. He came down from a Pakistani mountain top and was greeted by British Prime Minister George Galloway. Shaking the PM’s hand he exclaimed, “Al Qaeda will cease all military activities and live in peace with the West. We thank you for your brave withdrawal of Christian troops from the Muslim world.” This was the highpoint of an absolute victory over George Bush’s bigoted war on Islam. Galloway replied, “Next we will work to end the Jew’s war on Islam in Palestine, the Hindu’s war on Islam in Kashmir, the Buddhist’s war on Islam in Thailand, the atheist’s war on Islam in China’s Xinjiang province, and the Christian’s war on Islam in Sudan, Indonesia, Russia and Philippines. All of these aggressors against Islam must be totally defeated so that we may have peace.”

As you can see this means we have a lot of work to do and it cannot be done if we elect a Republican this November. Remember, anti-Americanism is true patriotism!

Signed,
Freedom Later